Babylon Bee: Biden Campaign Hires Interpreter To Translate His Speeches Into English

The satirical Babylon Bee takes a shot at Joe Biden.

U.S.—The Biden campaign is facing a real communication problem as Joe Biden's speeches are growing more and more nonsensical. In order to overcome this challenge, aides have hired an interpreter to translate everything he says into normal, human-style English.

"My fellow Americans, pickle hamster meatloaf. The thing. Potato!" Biden began.

"My fellow Americans, thank you for being here this evening," the interpreter translated. 

You can read the rest of the humorous piece via the below link: 

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-campiagn-hires-translator-to-convert-his-speeches-into-english 

Ian Fleming's Inspiration: The Backstories Behind The James Bond Novels

The Daily Mail offers an extract from Edward Abel Smith’s new book on Ian Fleming, Ian Fleming’s Inspiration: The Truth Behind the Books.

Handsome. Witty. Suave. Irresistible to women. Bon vivant. Lover of fast cars. Intrepid traveler to exotic locations. An audacious and cunning spy. 

Qualities that are the very essence of James Bond. And yet they are not purely the stuff of fiction. To a large extent, they were attributes of 007’s creator, the novelist and journalist Ian Fleming.

A larger-than-life character who spent many years involved with the British Secret Service, Fleming often explained that his plots were taken from his own experiences, ‘no matter how bizarre they might seem’.

As a result, his James Bond novels and short stories – and the phenomenally successful films that followed – are peppered with references to Fleming’s own exhilarating days in wartime naval intelligence and to the far-flung places he visited, as well as the personal traits, and even names, of some of his glamorous high society friends.

Fleming’s first biographer, John Pearson, wrote: ‘James Bond is not really a character in the books. He is a mouthpiece for the man who inhabits him, a dummy for himself to hang clothes on… to perform the dreams of violence and daring which fascinate his creator.’

Certainly, the numerous parallels are remarkable – be it the central plot of a story, 007’s favorite food, or simply the thrill he gets when driving one of his adored luxury cars… 

A larger-than-life character who spent many years involved with the British Secret Service, Fleming often explained that his plots were taken from his own experiences, ‘no matter how bizarre they might seem’

… A lifelong philanderer who was thrown out of the Army after an ill-advised encounter with a ‘woman of dubious virtue’ in Soho, Fleming was notoriously commitment-averse, only marrying at the age of 44 after a long public affair with his married mistress, Ann O’Neill.

Their relationship was a turbulent one. The outgoing, vivacious and charming Ann is thought to have provided many of the characteristics for Viv, the narrator of The Spy Who Loved Me, including her wavy brown hair, high cheekbones and cheerful optimism.

But it was an earlier girlfriend who was arguably more influential.

Muriel Wright was a stunning model who met Fleming at the Austrian ski resort of Kitzbuhel when he was 27 and she was 26.

They began a passionate relationship, but it was not long before Fleming started seeing other women.

Muriel’s indignant brother is said to have been so angry that he turned up at Fleming’s London home with a horsewhip to punish him. 

During an early visit to his adored Jamaica, where he eventually built a home called Goldeneye, Fleming was amused to hear a neighbor’s butler announce: ‘Vespers are served.’ He was delighted to take the name of the local cocktail – a combination of ice-cold gin and tropical juice – for Bond’s glamorous sidekick in Casino Royale, Vesper Lynd.

However, consumed with guilt after Muriel was killed in an air raid in London in March 1944, Fleming became deeply sentimental about her, refusing to return to restaurants the couple had once visited.

Although he never spoke of her again, his feelings surfaced in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service in 1963, in which he describes in anguished detail the death of the love of Bond’s life, Tracy, in a hail of bullets.

Muriel, with her kind heart, exceptional beauty and sporting prowess, is believed to have been the inspiration for many Bond girls.

Fleming relished passing on his love of fine food and wine to James Bond, who, in Casino Royale, explains to Vesper that investing time in choosing what to eat and drink provides him with pleasure, because it makes his meals more interesting. Fleming’s favorite meal was breakfast. In his Jamaican retreat, fresh eggs, fruit and coffee would follow an early swim, while lunch featured fish, steak, kidneys, liver or the local specialty of curried goat.

… The author’s biographer John Pearson described Fleming as a man with a ‘sad, sardonic smile as he clenched the Dunhill holder between his battered teeth and drew heavily upon his umpteenth Morland of the morning’. 

… The CIA is one of the best-known intelligence institutions in the world. Less well known, however, is the key role played by Fleming in creating it. 

In 1941, he visited the US with his Naval Intelligence boss John Godfrey, with the objective of forging closer intelligence links with their American counterparts. Their first stop was to meet J. Edgar Hoover, the 46-year-old founder of the FBI in New York.

The visit was not a success, with Hoover telling the British pair he had no interest in their proposals. He did, however, take them to a shooting range in the basement of the building.

This was the beginning of Fleming’s lifelong fascination with guns – their look, sound, feel and smell.

Hoover also introduced the two men to Sir William Stephenson, the legendary wartime UK-US intelligence liaison chief.

For Fleming, this was another life-changing moment.


As his biographer John Pearson wrote: ‘Stephenson was almost everything a hero should be… he was very tough… he was very rich… he was single-minded and patriotic and a man of few words.’

When Stephenson asked Fleming to write a quote for the front cover of his autobiography many years later, the author boldly claimed that Stephenson was the real-life version of James Bond.

As the man who represented British Intelligence interests in the US, Stephenson had identified that the main reason for the lack of wartime co-operation between the countries’ intelligence services was simple disorganization.

There was no central American body to co-ordinate all the intelligence – and, most importantly, to decide what to share and with whom. Instead, the Navy, Army, State Department and the FBI all fought against each other.

Fleming was invited to design the structure of a centralized new secret service for the US, using his experiences of coordinated British intelligence. Working under armed guard, he produced a comprehensive 70-page document covering every aspect of the requirements of a giant secret intelligence organization.

Four weeks later, it was announced that $10 million had been allocated to get the new service up and running.

For Fleming, what had begun as a diplomatic visit to build ties in New York and Washington, had resulted in a huge personal triumph.

In gratitude for his work, the head of the new organization, Colonel William Donovan, gave Fleming a .38 Colt revolver engraved with the words ‘for special services’.

Fleming would proudly show the weapon to his associates, telling them it was given to him by the father of the American Secret Service. 

You can read the rest of the piece via the below link:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8326707/New-book-reveals-Ian-Fleming-immortalised-lovers-Bond-Girl.html 

The Washington Times: Supporting Journalism's Role In Civil Society

At the Washington Times, the conservative newspaper where my On Crime columns, book reviews and other pieces appear, there is an editorial about the necessity of newspapers. 

These days it is both common and unpleasant to hear espoused, especially by members of the elite, that the coronacrisis is helpfully accelerating the demise — if not total destruction — of sclerotic industries. One such industry, and everyone’s favorite whipping boy, if we are being honest, is the media, particularly newspapers, which seem to have now regressed from a decade-long serious condition to one in need of critical attention.

Critics on both the left and the right point to different culprits: Outmoded business models; the disruption of “new,” online media platforms such as Twitter or Facebook; shortened attention spans; a public sick of ideology masquerading as “fact,” you name it. But all of this is beside the point. Because like your local mom and pop store, or local library, or public park, journalism done well is an important part of a healthy civil society. We simply need to have it around.

And we can go further. The philosophic concepts that prop up the historical success of everything great in America — life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness — only move from the theoretical realm to the practical when its disseminated, discussed and debated in the public square. The roaring pamphlet debates between the Federalists and Anti-Federalists, which all took place in the pages of newspapers, brought America as we know it into existence.

Now, one may downplay this and argue, as they do, that the death (or “evolution” if you prefer repeating a well-worn lie) of news media is just one of those things in life, akin to the move from traditional taxis to Uber. Except, of course, it’s not. Because when newspapers die, at least in this environment, there is nothing to replace them.

This is lamentable for many reasons, not least of which is the loss of the employment, our ability to hold to account corrupt business and bad government, and the innumerable feel-good, feel-bad, or just plain fact-neutral reporting that, in aggregate, tells the story of our country.

… Finally, we would be remiss if we did not remind you that, when it comes to covering national news, no one beats the men and women of The Washington Times. That goes double for our columnists. If you haven’t already, please do subscribe.

Our motto is: Reliable Reporting. The Right Opinion — we would love to see more of that across America.

You can read the rest of the editorial via the below link:

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2020/may/14/editorial-news-best-when-its-disseminated-discusse/ 

Note: The Washington Times was President Ronald Reagan's favorite newspaper.

Honoring Those On Watch During COVID-19 Outbreak: Armed Forces Day 2020

A Little Humor: The Cop Issues Tickets

I popped into a store for only a minute and when I walked out, I saw a cop writing a parking ticket for being in a handicap spot.

I walked up to him and asked him to give a guy a break.

He just looked at me and kept on writing the ticket. 

So I called him a Nazi. 

He gave me a hard look but didn’t say anything except that he was issuing me another ticket for worn tires.

“Does giving people tickets made you feel powerful?” I asked the cop.

The cop did not respond, but the began writing a third ticket and placed it on the windshield with the other tickets.

I continued to insult the cop and he continued writing tickets. I lost count, but there must have been a half dozen on the windshield.

Finally, I threw up my hands and walked away, stealing a glance at the stack of tickets piled on the car. 

But I didn't care. 

My car was parked around the corner.

U.S. Army General To Co-Lead 'Operation Warp Speed' For COVID-19 Vaccine

David Vergun at the DOD News offers the below piece: 

President Donald J. Trump today announced that Army Gen. Gustave F. Perna, the commander of Army Materiel Command, will co-lead an effort, dubbed Operation Warp Speed, to find a vaccine for COVID-19 by January 2021. 

Defense Secretary Dr. Mark T. Esper said the Defense Department is very excited and committed to partnering with the Department of Health and Human Services, across the government, and in the private sector to accomplish the mission. "Winning matters, and we will deliver by the end of this year a vaccine at scale to treat the American people and our partners abroad," he said.

The goal is to produce about 300 million vaccines by January, said Jonathan Rath Hoffman, assistant to the secretary of defense for public affairs, at a Pentagon press briefing today.

Hoffman mentioned that it's a goal involving a whole-of-government approach, not just the DOD.

Regarding DOD and the Pentagon, Hoffman said neither has been shut down and daily operations continue, albeit with mitigation steps that include social distancing, face masks, quarantine when necessary and telework if the situation allows.

As for increasing the number of personnel at the Pentagon, Hoffman said it will be conditions-based and informed by medical experts. The Pentagon, he said, is in consultation with the governments of the District of Columbia, Virginia and Maryland. Policy and decisions are currently under review and are expected to be released in a matter of weeks.

Regarding the hospital ships USNS Comfort and Mercy, Hoffman said they have completed their work in New York City and Los Angeles and are standing by if their services are needed elsewhere. 

Hoffman noted that tomorrow is Armed Forces Day. He mentioned the death yesterday of Army Staff Sgt. Ronald J. Shurer II, a Medal of Honor recipient. 

Shurer served in Afghanistan. On April 6, 2008, he was cited for valorous actions for providing medical assistance to his teammates while facing enemy fire for over six hours. 

Alleged Narcotrafficker And High-Ranking Cartel Member Extradited From Uruguay To The United States

The U.S. Justice Department released the below:

A Mexican national will have his initial appearance in federal court in the District of Columbia later today on charges related to his alleged involvement in a criminal conspiracy to distribute cocaine and methamphetamine.

Assistant Attorney General Brian A. Benczkowski of the Justice Department’s Criminal Division and Acting Administrator Uttam Dhillon of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), made the announcement.

Gerardo Gonzalez Valencia, aka “Lalo,” 43, arrived at Dulles International Airport  yesterday evening after being extradited from Uruguay, where he was arrested in April 2016.  The indictment charges Gonzalez Valencia with an international conspiracy to distribute cocaine and methamphetamine, intending and knowing that those substances would be unlawfully imported into the United States.  The indictment alleges that Gonzalez Valencia’s criminal conspiracy ran from 2003 to 2016.

“The Department of Justice will never waver in our commitment to disrupt and dismantle CJNG and its enablers, wherever they are found,” said Assistant Attorney General Benczkowski.  “Thanks to the dedicated efforts of our law enforcement partners in Uruguay, Valencia Gonzalez now will be held to account in the United States for his alleged crimes.”

“Today’s extradition and arrest of Mr. Gonzalez-Valencia deals another blow to the leadership of the Cartel de Jalisco Nueva Generacion,” said DEA Acting Administrator Dhillon. “Mr. Gonzalez-Valencia is alleged to have distributed significant quantities of cocaine and meth and will now face justice in the United States.  We are grateful for the outstanding partnership with the National Police and Government of Uruguay during this long term investigation.”

The charges contained in the indictment are merely accusations, and the defendant is presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt in a court of law.

The case was investigated by DEA Los Angeles.  Trial Attorneys Brett Reynolds, Kaitlin Sahni, Cole Radovich, Kate Naseef and Acting Deputy Chief Anthony Nardozzi of the Criminal Division’s Narcotic and Dangerous Drug Section are prosecuting the case.

The Justice Department extends its gratitude to the government of Uruguay for making the extradition possible and the U.S. Department of State’s Diplomatic Security Service (DSS) for its support.  The Criminal Division’s Office of Enforcement Operations provided assistance in support of this investigation and the Criminal Division’s Office of International Affairs provided significant assistance in securing the defendant’s extradition from Uruguay.