A Little Humor: Feeling Wanted

During the holiday season, I met a man in a bar who told me about his life over a couple of drinks. 

He said it was funny how circumstances change.

"I was unwanted as a child," the man told me. "Now I'm wanted in 12 states."

Note: The photo above is of Shemp Howard, one of The Three Stooges.  

A Look Back At Shemp Howard, The Underrated Stooge

I was and am a huge fan of The Three Stooges, Moe, Larry and Curley.

I loved them as a kid, and I still laugh when I see them on TV or the Internet.  

I also love the fourth Stooge, Shemp.

Joe Ramoni offers a mini documentary on Shemp Howard, called Shemp Howard: The Underrated Stooge.  

As Ramoni points out in the film, Shemp, his brother Moe Howard and Larry Fine (who was from South Philly) were the original Stooges in an act called Ted Healy and His Stooges. Healy portrayed the slapping, eye-poking boss. 

Shemp left the act to pursue a solo career and he appeared in films with W.C. Fields in The Bank Dick, Abbot and Costello in Buck Privates, and John Wayne in Pittsburgh. 

Shemp’s younger brother, known as Curly, replaced Shemp. Moe, Larry and Curly later left Ted Healy’s act and went on their own to everlasting great fame.    

When Curly became ill, Shemp rejoined the act.

You can watch the short film, and get a few laughs, via the below link:

Shemp Howard | The Underrated Stooge | A Docu-Mini - YouTube

You can also read an earlier post on Shemp Howard via the below link:

Paul Davis On Crime: The Ugliest Man In Hollywood: On This Day in History Comedian Shemp Howard, One Of the Three Stooges, Was Born 

A Little Humor: The Three Surgeons

 Three surgeons were on a break and discussing work. 

The 1st surgeon said, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” 

The 2nd surgeon said, “No, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” 

The 1st surgeon said, “I also like electricians. Everything inside them is color coded.” 

The 3^rd surgeon offered, “I prefer lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and their asses are interchangeable.” 

Note: The above photo is of the Three Stooges. 

A Little Humor: Applying For A Government Job

A veteran visited a Defense Department depot in Philadelphia to apply for a job, as he heard that they were hiring vets.

The interviewer asked him, “Are you allergic to anything?” 

The man replied, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.”

“OK, have you ever been in the military?”

“Yes,” the man said. “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”

The interviewer said, “That will give you five extra points toward employment.”

Then he asked, “Are you disabled in any way?”

The man replied, “Yes. An IED exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.”

The interviewer grimaced and said, “Disabled in your country’s service! Well, that qualifies for extra bonus points. 

“Okay. Looking at the regulations you have got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., so you can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day.”

The man was puzzled, and he asked, “If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, why don’t you want me here until 10:00 am?”

“This is a government job,” the interviewer said. “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls.

"No point in you coming in for that.”

Note: The above photo is of Moe, Larry and Curly, the Three Stooges. 

A Little Humor: Man Brings Friend Home to Meet The Wife

A man brought his friend home unannounced to meet his wife and have dinner after work.

His wife screamed at him while his friend sat there in shock.

“My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I am still in my pajamas and curlers and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?”

Calmly, sadly, the husband replied, “He’s thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo.”  

Note: The above photo is of Curly Howard of the Three Stooges.

In one of the Three Stooges shorts, Curly was asked if he was married.

“No,” Curly replied. “I’m happy.”  

A Little Humor: An Ugly Man In A Bar

An ugly man walks into a bar and a beautiful woman approaches him the woman asks the man, “How would you like to get out of here?”

The man is stunned. He never thought a woman like her would ever approach him so he agrees. 

They both get into his car and drive really far. He stops at a cliff with the view of the whole city. 

Within seconds they start taking off their clothes. After 15 minutes of vigorous sex they finally finish. They both put their clothes on and they both just sit there awkwardly.

The woman speaks up first and says “I’m a prostitute and it’s going to be $100 for my service.”

The man is stunned and saddened that she didn’t really like him. 

He gives her the money and they both sit there awkwardly. The woman tells him that she is ready to go back to that bar.

The man starts his car, turns on his taxi meter and says: “It’s going to be $150 for the ride here and back.”

Note: The above photo is of Shemp Howard, who was once described as the “Ugliest Man in Hollywood.”  

You can read about why he was called that via the below link:

www.pauldavisoncrime.com/2018/03/the-ugliest-man-in-hollywood-on-this.html

A Little Humor: A Profound Thinker

A man mowed his lawn one day and then sat down in a chair and drank a cold beer. 

The day was quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some profound thinking.

The man’s wife walked by and asked him what he was doing, and he replied, ‘Nothing.’ 

The reason he replied nothing rather than stating that he was thinking, was that she would have inquired what he was thinking about. 

And then the man would have to explain that men are profound thinkers, which would then lead to other questions and comments that he didn’t want to hear from her.

The man was thinking about an age-old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? 

Women always say that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. 

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive reasoning, the man arrived at the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is clearly more painful than having a baby. 

The reason for his conclusion was that a year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.” 

On the other hand, you will never hear a man say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.” 

The man said out loud, “I rest my case.”

Note: The above photo is of Moe Howard, one of the Three Stooges.

The Ugliest Man In Hollywood: On This Day in History Comedian Shemp Howard, One Of the Three Stooges, Was Born

Born on this day in 1895 was Shemp Howard. The American actor and comedian, one of the Three Stooges, was born in Brooklyn, New York. 

Howard, whose real name was Samuel Horwitz, died in 1955.  

TCM offers a piece on the late, great funny man.

Once described as "The Ugliest Man in Hollywood" as part of a publicity stunt concocted by his agent, comic actor Shemp Howard was an integral member of The Three Stooges for more than 70 films. Receiving his start on the vaudeville circuit, Shemp performed with his brother Moe and violinist Larry Fine alongside popular comedian Ted Healy on Broadway and in the two-reel short "Soup to Nuts" (1930) prior to venturing on to a solo career. Over the 15 years that followed, Shemp established himself as a film comedian opposite players like W.C. Fields and Abbott & Costello until the failing health of his younger brother Curly brought him back into the Stooges fold with the comedy "Fright Night" (1947). Less hyper-kinetic and childlike than Curly, Shemp's shameless mugging and trademark utterance of "Bee-bee-bee-bee!" - in addition to his willingness to take a mallet to the head or a pair of fingers to eyes - easily made him a welcome addition to the line-up. After appearing in dozens of shorts that included "I'm a Monkey's Uncle" (1948) and "Corny Casanovas" (1952), he died of a heart attack in 1955. And while replaced onscreen, the stringy-haired funny man would never be supplanted in the hearts of Stooge fans who truly appreciated what Shemp Howard and his fellow Stooges gave to the world of comedy, even if the critics did not.

You can read the rest of the piece via the below link:

http://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/person/89697%7C139868/Shemp-Howard/biography.html

You can also watch a video of Shemp Howard and the other Stooges as detectives via the below link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFapPbBunO0

Note: I was and am a huge fan of Shemp Howard and the other Three Stooges. I love them as a kid and I still laugh when I see them. 

Goodbye To Our Gal Sal: TV Icon Sally Starr Dies At 90

Like most of the baby boomers in the Philadelphia area, I grew up watching Sally Starr on TV.

Andy Wallace at the Philadelphia Inquirer offers a look back at her life.

Sally Starr, the gun-totin' cowgirl who rode a palomino with a silver saddle and introduced millions of children in the Philadelphia area to Popeye, Clutch Cargo, and the Three Stooges, died Sunday.

One of the most beloved celebrities in Philadelphia TV history, Miss Starr was an icon of the black-and-white era.

She died two days after her 90th birthday at the Berlin, Camden County, convalescent home where she lived, her former station, 6ABC, said in an online obituary.

You can read the rest of the obituary via the below link:

http://www.philly.com/philly/obituaries/20130128_Cowgirl_queen_of_the_TV_screen_for_countless_fans.html?c=r

She will be missed.