Wednesday, April 24, 2019
A Little Humor: Some Of W.C. Fields' Best One-Liners
Below are some of the late W.C. Fields’ best one-liners:
I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.
I drink therefore I am.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The Other half I wasted.
In My Little Chickadee, a man came up to W,C. Fields as he was shuffling a deck of cards.
"Is this a game of chance?” the man asked.
W.C. Fields replied, “Not the way I play it.”
You can also watch a TCM video on W.C. Fields, narrated by John Cleese, via the below link: