A big, tough outlaw biker died and found himself in Hell.
As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.
Devil: “Why so glum?”
Biker : “What do you think? I’m in Hell!”
Devil: “Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?”
Biker : “Sure, I love to drink.”
Devil: “Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Bombay Sapphire, tequila, Guinness, red wine, single malt scotch. We drink ’til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don’t have to worry about getting a hangover, because you’re dead anyway.”
Biker : “Gee that sounds great!”
Biker : “You better believe it.”
Devil: “All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and we smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie, you’re already dead, remember?”
Biker : “Wow…that’s awesome!”
Devil: “I bet you like to gamble.”
Biker : “Yeah, I do.”
Devil: “Good,’ cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.”
Biker : “Cool!”
Devil: “What about Drugs?”
Biker : “Are you kidding? I love drugs!"
Devil: “Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.”
Biker : “Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!”
Devil: “Are you gay? Do you like men?"
Biker : “Hell, no……”
Satan: “Ooooh, then Fridays are gonna be tough……”
Note: The above photo is of Jon Lovitz as the Devil appearing on People’s Court on an episode of Saturday Night Live.