Gotta love the Babylon Bee’s satire.
Have you or a loved one had a baby recently? We
hate to say this, but you may have just brought a white supremacist into
the world.
Don't
worry though-- we're here to help! It's important to always look for clues of
racist tendencies in your newborn so you can nip that in the bud!
Here are the troubling 7 signs:
He's white, which automatically makes him
racist: If your newborn is white, then sorry-- its game
over. Your baby will be irredeemably racist forever. Sad.
Completely illiterate, just like most Nazis: What?
Your newborn can't read? Then he's probably been radicalized by alt-right
personalities on YouTube.
No hair, which is a common Neo-Nazi
hairstyle: Is your baby a skinhead? Having no hair is a
colossal red flag. If your newborn is bald, make him wear a wig until his hair
grows in.
Enjoys bedtime stories written by
notorious racist Dr. Seuss: Books by Dr. Seuss are a
gateway drug to literally burning crosses in people's front yards. Teach your
child to burn those books instead.
Shows his white fragility by crying all the
time: Crying is a sure sign of defensiveness and fear of
honest conversations around race. Not good!
Refuses to say "black lives
matter": Seriously-- what's so hard about saying
"black lives matter"? If instead, he says things like "goo
goo ga ga", this is even more troubling. The phrase "goo goo ga
ga" has 10 letters in it. Do you know what else has 10 letters? "Heil
Hitler."
Shows colorblindness by playing with
other kids regardless of race: Color blindness is racist.
Minorities need their own separate spaces without white invaders. Decolonize
your playtime, Mom and Dad!
If you remain vigilant, you may play a part in preventing another baby from becoming racist! Unless he's white, of course.
You can read other fine humor pieces via the below link:
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